I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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