What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
