I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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