Someone shit on the floor
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
