Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
