Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
