And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
