in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
