I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
