margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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