I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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