did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
