the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
