Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.