Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch

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  (612): that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch http://tfl.nu/s0rx
  Replies (11) Good night (1157) Bad night (596)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...

  (1-201): View more from New Jersey

  ok, come over...I have doritos

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  (201): Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home... (1-201): ok, come over...I have doritos http://tfl.nu/32vm
  Replies (8) Good night (1054) Bad night (1895)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.

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  (330): i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow. http://tfl.nu/ez44
  Replies (11) Good night (3350) Bad night (619)
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  (925): View more from California

  So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.

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  (925): So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made. http://tfl.nu/hust
  Replies (22) Good night (8808) Bad night (1350)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.

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  (606): i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer. http://tfl.nu/0wtr
  Replies (20) Good night (3855) Bad night (2405)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.

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  (317): I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me. http://tfl.nu/s4ft
  Replies (36) Good night (7159) Bad night (1513)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever

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  (901): we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever http://tfl.nu/yt63
  Replies (7) Good night (1040) Bad night (5571)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"

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  (615): She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits" http://tfl.nu/yc53
  Replies (9) Good night (2845) Bad night (1088)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed

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  (206): Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed http://tfl.nu/023t
  Replies (1) Good night (1823) Bad night (533)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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  (252): there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone http://tfl.nu/i05p
  Replies (6) Good night (2423) Bad night (659)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on

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  (717): I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on http://tfl.nu/s4r4
  Replies (3) Good night (1751) Bad night (704)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together

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  (770): No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together http://tfl.nu/677k
  Replies (3) Good night (495) Bad night (1417)
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  (310): View more from California

  OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?

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  (310): OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS? http://tfl.nu/ewib
  Replies (14) Good night (1775) Bad night (844)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.

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  (647): I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat. http://tfl.nu/9m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (779) Bad night (537)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.

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  (734): Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday. http://tfl.nu/wg8e
  Replies (3) Good night (519) Bad night (267)

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