am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful