Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.

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  (208): i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy. http://tfl.nu/3jyj
  Replies (22) Good night (1535) Bad night (571)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  if only i could text you this smell

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  (713): if only i could text you this smell http://tfl.nu/til8
  Replies (22) Good night (1196) Bad night (4323)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.

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  (917): Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed. http://tfl.nu/8c7h
  Replies (2) Good night (460) Bad night (2853)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  yea

  (1-856): View more from New Jersey

  turns out that you did...and i just found it.

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  (856): You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel? (856): yea (1-856): turns out that you did...and i just found it. http://tfl.nu/lurm
  Replies (57) Good night (694) Bad night (8291)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night

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  (908): its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night http://tfl.nu/akir
  Replies (73) Good night (1709) Bad night (5537)
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  (631): View more from New York

  He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...

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  (631): He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now... http://tfl.nu/8b9i
  Replies (12) Good night (1661) Bad night (5974)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.

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  (717): She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer. http://tfl.nu/9691
  Replies (7) Good night (3719) Bad night (891)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.

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  (610): I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again. http://tfl.nu/bt9u
  Replies (35) Good night (3185) Bad night (1230)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"

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  (908): I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!" http://tfl.nu/rdw8
  Replies (9) Good night (1313) Bad night (2943)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.

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  (613): Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big. http://tfl.nu/u6h6
  Replies (15) Good night (6967) Bad night (757)
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  (518): View more from New York

  hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river

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  (518): hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river http://tfl.nu/791q
  Replies (12) Good night (2552) Bad night (725)
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  (631): View more from New York

  she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly

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  (631): she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly http://tfl.nu/zoqz
  Replies (6) Good night (1663) Bad night (869)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.

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  (518): Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass. http://tfl.nu/ms9b
  Replies (25) Good night (1475) Bad night (1382)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.

  (637): View more from

  We made popcorn last night. So it's both

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  (908): It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one. (637): We made popcorn last night. So it's both http://tfl.nu/itvi
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (1091)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa

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  (808): Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa http://tfl.nu/xvlh
  Replies (6) Good night (721) Bad night (237)

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