I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
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Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
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T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.