1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.