Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
