Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
