U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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