By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
