can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
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I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
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i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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