Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
