You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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