She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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