I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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