Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize