i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
