I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize