My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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