i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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