i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
