Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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