you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Randomize
