Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
