Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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