I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you never un-have a 4some
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
