i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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