I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
