Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
