I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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