I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
