jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
