At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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