non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize