When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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