"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
