i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Text me some of your sweat
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
