Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
