Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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