i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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