what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
