Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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