i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
