I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm like, not good at living.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
