You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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