Don't you send me to vm
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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