I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
