So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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