I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
We're too hungover to prance.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
