everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
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Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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