either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
