nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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