found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize